Archive for Taking care of yourself

Jun
09

Gratitude? Why Bother!

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It’s really easy to be grateful when the day is sunny, there’s money in your pocket and there’s no life drama going on. In fact, when everything is going well it’s also really easy to forget to be grateful! Maybe we learn our best lessons about the usefulness of gratitude when things are perfectly awful. Let me tell you what I mean.

There was a time when my life was pretty harsh and hard. We lived in a very cold climate in an uninsulated farm house that was heated with a wood stove, and kept our canned goods in the refrigerator so they wouldn’t freeze. These were the times when there were withdrawals from the food bank and ‘living high on the hog’ meant you found a pig to ride. Since I had three children and was expecting my fourth, I couldn’t afford the luxury of a bad attitude either! During that dark, cold winter I found gratitude was the best way to alter my own mood and therefore positively affect the whole family. It became my most important job!

I started a gratitude list on the refrigerator to remind myself of what I had to be grateful for especially during this low place in life. [It’s really difficult to think of things to be grateful for when you feel so desperate and low.] Of course I wrote on it:  my children, my health, the sunshine, wood for the stove, and friends. I also added music, laughter, family, nature, and a roof over our head. Then I hit ‘pay dirt’! These were the items that really gave feeling and meaning to the term gratitude. For us it could be summed up by mentioning a full refrigerator and a hot shower!

As our home changed over the decades, and our fortunes waxed and waned, there was always a list on the refrigerator to remind me of the amazing number of things we had to be grateful for. There was also a list of music that lifted my spirits, movies that made us laugh, and things that felt really good – like a long soak in the tub or a specific author. Years later when I talked about this to my grown kids, asked them whether they had thought of us as being poor, I was very grateful to hear: “I knew we didn’t have much money, but I never felt poor.”

And that, my friends, is good enough. A good attitude is always available if you want to turn your depressing thoughts into productive thoughts. It is an act of will, a determined shift in the inner dialogue; it is available to everyone. It brings you health and laughter and  good feelings even when you don’t have health insurance or gas for the car. It turns a supper of pancakes and popcorn into a party instead of it being the only food in the house.

As Viktor Frankl wrote about so eloquently in “Man’s Search For Meaning”, even in the awfulness of the concentration camps, attitude was the one thing the Nazi’s could not control. This was always controlled in the hearts and minds of each individual. [For the most amazing example of this, see the film “Life is Beautiful”.]

So take heart! Focus on what brings you joy, laughter, delight, and beauty. These are a more certain ‘coin of the realm’ than any money in the bank. When that bank fails, if your heart is full, you can freely move on to the next best thing. This is the finest lesson a child can learn! With gratitude and a good attitude, there is always hope.

Jan
23

Elder Wisdom

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Looking back over the last 50-60 years I am astonished by all the deep changes in the way we live. The information available from us older folks on how to do simple everyday things is encyclopedic and in fact foreign to most of our current Western urban/suburban society. All the people that live in a place where electricity goes out for a week at a time will still know most of this. Most of the rest of us may not have the skills we need to be fine under those circumstances. This leads me to suggest dusting off some old skills and hooking up with people who do know how to live well unplugged.

Moving to a farm as a child gave me the basic experiences of doing it all at home. The farm still had an outhouse, a wood burning cook stove, a parlor stove, a hand pump, a dug well, and a smoke house (the tightest building on the place). Even though I didn’t appreciate it at the time, this was one of the most profound times of basic learning I experienced. Those lessons don’t go away. They are in my body as physical memories. When ever I am placed in a situation where I need to access this information, it is there. Sometimes I can’t remember it in my head, but when asked about it or placed in a similar situation, I am triggered into total recall. This rises from my body, not my mind…like riding a bike.

This knowledge is safety and security. When you know how to prepare food from scratch, sew on a button or make a garment, create a shelter, tell time with a compass or tell direction with a watch, gather food and build a fire, you feel safer in the world. Knowing that each basic item we have can help make something else is useful. The old game of “What would you want to take with you to have on a deserted island?” is a good thought experiment! Actual hands on experience is even more valuable.

Here’s a suggestion for this year and all the years to come: learn something basic every month. If you had one match, how do you make sure you could start a fire? What are the basic skills, the rock bottom ideas that could sustain you if you were tossed out into this world naked? Interesting thought! What would you put in a backpack if you had to leave your home in 10 minutes and never go back?

My first idea? Look for others. Then comes: Trust Life, trust Spirit, be in the moment and remain aware. Allow your instincts to lead you, and when all else seems too weird to manage, make food. “Stone Soup” really works! When you follow the thread of  ‘OK, what’s next?’ everything will flow from that. Staying present and in the moment keeps all the ‘What If’s’ at bay.

In these Change Times the idea of only focusing on what’s next and putting all your energy in that moment by moment experience will free you and keep all the negative worry thoughts out of the picture. You are only responsible for NOW, so just make that the very best possible now, and keep on keeping on. In tough times the only thing you have total control over is your attitude. Make it a good one! I start my day with five excellent words such as : Love, Joy, Abundance, Gratitude, and Peace. I refer to these every time I get into downer thoughts. Believe it or not, this improves my life day by day. It just takes willingness to turn your thoughts to something else! And this is also the very basics of living well –  no matter what!

If nothing else comes to mind, sing a good old song that lifts you up and connects you to others. “Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream…”

Jan
22

Seasons of Food

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Long ago and far away when I was growing up, there was a very different flow of food to the table. Even in the suburban bedroom communities of New York City we had a garden and a dozen chickens in the backyard. Lots of food was raised at home by everyone, even in Brooklyn! And food markets reflected the local seasons. This was before Eisenhower’s highways were finished and it took the better part of three days to drive from NYC to Knoxville, TN. The rhythms of the seasons was reflected in the food we ate. Let me explain.

Every part of our country has seasonal crops and times when every local vegetable and fruit is abundant. Without the far flung shipping we now have there were also times when you simply could not get certain things, and various produce we are now used to never showed up fresh at all. So with the emphasis on buying locally again I have been going back to the way we used to eat – and I have realized how much sense it makes to my body!

Spring was so welcome because fresh green foods could be added back into our diet after a winter diet of root crops, dried, canned and frozen foods, stews, soups and winter squash. It was a natural time to detox and clean out our systems with dandelion greens, asparagus, peas, green onions, lettuces, spinach, radishes and finally strawberries! Spring lamb and broiler sized chickens were again on the menu. Our whole diet was lighter and full of that new green of Spring. The chickens were laying eggs!

The beginning of Summer was a feast of all the early crops and fruits: peaches, cherries, green beans, summer squash, and more greens. This was a wonderful feast time and we ate right out of the garden. The meat on the table was poultry and lighter meals than winter. Although we had started putting food by as soon as there was any extra food in the Spring (Strawberry jam, peas), canning and freezing was now in high gear. We never sat down without some veggies or fruits to prepare for ‘putting by’.We talked about how good it would taste come Winter.

July brought corn and tomatoes, peppers and cucumbers, broccoli and more beans. We ate and canned and pickled and preserved; weeded and watered and fertilized and replanted. More food was on the way! August came with cauliflower, cabbage, beets, later carrots, eggplant, and more squash. Zucchini was left as a surprise on neighbors doorsteps just to get rid of it! Potatoes had started to be dug as well.

The first crisp days of Fall propelled us into a last frenzy of activity to save all the root crops and winter squash for the lean days of late winter. Apples were ready for the root cellar, applesauce, drying, and canned for pies. We waited for the first light frosts to sweeten the kale and Brussels sprouts before we harvested. Rows of parsnips, carrots, beets, and turnips were either pulled and stored or covered with piles of mulch to be dug all winter without being frozen. By the first deep days of winter, the pantry, freezer, cellar shelves, and attic were stuffed with food. Freezer lockers held beef, pork, and chickens; hams and bacon had been smoked and hung in brown paper.

In some ways winter was a favorite season. No more putting food by, tending the garden, or sitting with a bushel basket between my legs cleaning and preparing veggies! This was a time of hearty stews, slow cooked foods, and deeply satisfying soups. My body likes this, too. In Winter I need the depth and richness of these dishes to keep me warm.

Now, as we are in the last months of Winter, I have started to look forward to the greens of  Spring to tone up my body. I am ready to start the plants for the gardens of Summer, and will do better about keeping the ‘winter keepers’ safe and eatable longer. Yes, in a cold climate I do put on 5 to 10 pounds as soon as it gets really cold, but in the Spring with the increase of outdoor activity and the new lighter foods, it all comes off quickly. I love how my body responds to these changes. I trust this wisdom, and I find if I stick to a seasonal diet all is well! Indeed, variety is the spice of life!