Archive for Family Story
Laundry!
Posted by: | CommentsLast week my daughter and her two children stayed with me while getting ready to move across the country. It was a wonderful experience and allowed me the pleasure of their company before their departure. I also realized up close and personal some of the differences in understanding and knowledge between my childhood and theirs! Let’s start with basic awareness about laundry.
These days, it seems, if you wear something once, it goes into the dirty clothes pile. There is no place to put those things that can be worn again because they are not really dirty yet. The exception might be outer wear – jackets, sweaters – only sometimes! It seems a simple thing to just wash everything, and on one hand, it is!
Years ago there was so much more to think about before putting something in the wash. Clothes wear out faster the more often they are washed and whether they are dried outside on a line or in the dryer, the sun or heat also takes its toll on a garment. The use of water was also part of the equation. Many of us had wells and being careful of our water use was part of life. Ceptic systems, common before sewers, were also fragile and if you didn’t have a grey water system, you monitored the amount of water that went into it or it overflowed into the yard. Cost of detergent figured into it, amount of electricity used, time to hang the clothes on the line and then take them in before the dew fell, and so forth.
It sounds like alot of bother now. And yet it created the web of connection between all things, the knowledge of our actions being so much bigger than just ‘throw it in the wash’ and somehow it will magically appear back in our drawer! I have a vivid memory from 4 years old about laundry.
I loved wearing dresses and had a favorite dress above all others. I was very careful of my clothes because I didn’t want my favorite dresses turned into rags before I outgrew them. My Mother would make me change my dress after three days, not because it was dirty (as she was fond of saying) but because she was tired of seeing it! Then after she washed it and hung it on the line, I watched it drying in the back yard while I was playing, and occasionally felt it to see when it would be dry. I remember standing on tippy-toes to feel the hem so I would know when it was dry and could be taken down to iron. I knew the entire “trip” my dress took before I could put it on again at a very young age!
I want my Grandchildren to know this about their clothes and their lives. I want them to be aware of the connection to ‘all that is’ a sock has, or a dress, or a pair of pants. We can return to the place of remembering and create a sacred connection to the earth through these small things. This is how we will clean up our planet as well. Wear things that are not dirty more than once. It’s a start!
Functional Animals
Posted by: | Comments04/07/2009
There are many times I’ve had to bite my tongue about animals in the home. Growing up on a farm gave me an entirely different view of animals and their place in our lives. I had no idea how different until my daughter posed a question to me. It was following my comment “Dogs belong in the barn.” Which really meant they don’t belong in the house. “If dogs don’t belong in the house, why have them?” She, and most others, see dogs as being a member of the family, which means they also inhabit the same house as their ‘people’.
When you grow up on a farm, all animals reside outside in their own environment – a house, a coop, a barn, a pen, and so forth. I went on to explain that the dog had a role on the farm, depending on what is needed. Dogs were our faithful and loyal companions when we were outside ourselves, which was almost all day. Our dog, Skipper, had his own house and his own jobs. He was to chase away the foxes from the chicken houses, the rabbits and woodchucks from the gardens, alert us when someone was coming, and keep a watchful eye on the us kids. A dog could lead you home when you were lost, warmed your hands when they were cold, cleaned out a cut when you were away from home and water, and sooth your hurt feelings when it all got you down. Dogs listened to you and made it all better just by their attention.
Dogs in the house meant dirt, fleas, and smell in the house, and there was so much of this already on the farm, and tracked in by us, Mother didn’t want any more in the house. When it was exceptionally cold one winter night, Skipper was brought in to sleep. He stood by the door whining and shaking until we let him out again; he ran to his warm snuggly house and disappeared behind the burlap bag on the door. This was his home.
Cats kept the barns free of rodents; geese ate the grass in the garden and were an alarm system; pigs ‘rototilled’ and fertilized the garden in the fall. We loved each and every one of these animals – except the chickens. There were too many of them (3000-4000) and they not only were quite brainless, they ate each other given half a chance. At other farms, animals had different functions depending on the ‘cash crop’. They herded, protected, and guarded. Whatever the job, having them in the home deluted their function and eventually made then much less useful.
I now know that urban animals are mostly pets. Their function seems to be as companions and partners, or children. It’s been proved over and over that this is also a wonderful role for pets…but not in my home! Once you are raised on a farm I guess some things remain outside forever more!
Women In The Kitchen
Posted by: | Comments03/14/2009
As a girl, I remember the women gathered in the kitchen to prepare big family dinners and during canning season. Until I was old enough to help (+/- 6 years old), I wasn’t allowed to ‘get under foot’. It was too dangerous with that much action going on! As soon as I could be of help, I was welcomed with open arms.
This was where I learned to use a peeler and a small paring knife on carrots, potatoes, and other root crops. As children we learned to shell peas and lima beans, shuck corn, and peel long strips of skin from apples to throw over our shoulder. Climbing up on a stool, puddings were stirred and all sorts of cooking skills were absorbed from Mother, Aunts, and older cousins.
Being in the kitchen with the women was a priviledge to be treasured. It was a time and a place when men were busy with other things and women could talk to each other without having to explain themselves. The topics were varied and intimate, cosy and caustic, and you had to remember to keep your mouth shut or someone would say over the top of your head: “Little pitchers have big ears!” and all the juicy bits would stop!
As a teenager, I suddenly stopped liking the kitchen with all the women. I wanted to be with the boys and felt terribly put-upon to have to do all this cooking and kitchen work. Why didn’t THEY have to do it too? It was particularly hard when the work men used to do while women were in the kitchen no longer took place. Now they were watching TV, drinking beer, and laughing while we were working. Humph!
As I got older I began to value this time with other women as being a wonderful way to be by ourselves, together. There is a freedom in this – a freedom of thought, a freedom of speech and ideas, a freedom to truely be who you are without censorship or misunderstanding. I appreciated the companionship of women as I never had before.
Now, as my family grows up and forms their own families, the men are in the kitchen as much as the women. This is a more equal relationship/partnership and shares the work load among us all. I love the idea that the women can go out in the backyard, have a beer and laugh while the men fix dinner. I love the way these men are actively caring for the children. The family community seems more accepting of us all and all that we are.
However, I have come to realize both women and men still need the relaxed company of being with their peers, men with men, women with women, as some sorts of talk and understanding only comes this way. Bottom line, we are different. Blessings on those differences; blessings on my girl friends!
